My parents left to go visit family in the Seattle area. I was supposed to stay behind and keep the animals fed and the house warm, then travel with friends to meet them later. Forest stayed with me at our house so I wouldn't be alone. I was weary and needed time away from my family to collect my thoughts and pray about what my next step would be. I wrote in my journal:
"I've decided, by the Lord's prompting, to tell my parents exactly how I feel about Sky. I feel like a total hypocrite and I'm tired of living a lie. Things have been getting pretty testy around here lately and Sky's been getting the brunt of it [because of his obvious attraction to me]. By me not speaking up, I've not been fair to him or to our parents and I can't stand it any longer. I have to say I'm deathly afraid of doing this. I'm afraid of my parents anger, afraid they won't understand, afraid they won't approve and may try to separate us...afraid of...I don't even know what. But I know that this is not faith and it's not trust. God's will WILL be accomplished in my and Sky's lives no matter what. I just need to remember that."
One night, Sky came over and we made dinner and watched a movie together. We were sitting around, gabbing and enjoying the evening, when an uncomfortable silence settled over us all. Sky cleared his throat. "There's something I need to tell you...something we really need to talk about before I explode."
My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest. Forest suddenly disappeared.
"We can't go on like this anymore," he started. "We can't keep pretending we're just friends. I'm in love with you. I have been for a while now and I know you love me too."
I started to say something and he nervously held up his hand. "Wait...just let me get this out."
And as he spoke, the tears started flowing. Tears that had been held back far too long.
He told me that when he met me, I was like no girl he had ever known. He often prayed that God would give him a wife just like me. It took him a while to realize his prayers had changed to "Lord, let her be my wife." But he'd fallen for girls before only to have it blow up in his face. He so badly wanted to know that these feelings were not just in his own heart, but put there by God Himself. He begged God to take away the feelings so he could have clarity to follow God's plan for his life. He even went to Colorado to get away from his feelings and me so he could think straight. It didn't work. His love for me only grew while we were apart. He said it felt like part of his heart was missing. He thought it was an impossible dream...that I, a talented, educated city girl, could never fall for a backwoods country boy like him. He was sure my parents would never approve of him marrying their daughter. Finally, after wrestling with himself for months, he attended a retreat for our youth group (of course, I wasn't there..wasn't allowed to go). He went for a walk around the lake to be by himself and talk with God. As he cried out to God, he heard a voice, almost audible, and the words "Child, don't fight this. This love you feel for Darcy is from Me. Trust Me, and let me guide your paths." Sound familiar? Then, right in front of him, a bald eagle swooped down and caught a fish out of the mountain lake. His favorite verse, and mine, came to him: "They that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings as eagles; they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint."
I got goosebumps listening to his story...so very much like my own struggles and affirmation from God. I shared with him these things, including the dream I had, and he was amazed. We were both amazed. Never had I felt with such assurance that God loved me enough to show Himself to me with such power and clarity.
But we were afraid, especially me. I knew what my parents expected of me and this wasn't it. They had often said how they wanted me to marry someone musically talented like I was, who made good money and had the same standards as we did. Not to mention that I was going against all the rules of a proper courtship. But Sky was determined to honor my father and do this his way. I wanted that, too, but was afraid of how they would react. Sky reminded me of our verse. "They shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not faint." That's what God was asking of us...to walk the path He had clearly set before us, without growing weary, and let Him work out the details.
We prayed together, each of us pouring our hearts out to a God we knew loved us, asking Him to direct our paths and renew our strength. I felt so completely enveloped by God's love and peace. We knew God made us for each other and He was the One writing our story. If God be for us.....
As Sky left that night, our hearts were lighter than they had been in a year. That was the first time Sky said "I love you" and my heart soared.