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Sunday, February 20, 2011


I've been accused lately of being "anti-everything". While I think that is an unfair assessment, it did cause me to pause and think. Am I portraying, on this blog and other forums, and in real life, a person who is known by what she is against? I am the type to take up a Cause and fight for all I'm worth. It's just who I am. But am I also fighting for something or just always against something? By definition, standing for something is standing against many other somethings. But I'm starting to think that how we fight and how we define our beliefs, whether for or against, is more important then I initially thought.

I don't like being thought of as a person who is only against something, some belief or lifestyle or mindset. To me, that's starting to sound really negative. I'd also like to be known as a person who stands for something, some belief or lifestyle or ideal. So I thought about the ways I would define my beliefs, and I came up with this list:

Anti- "biblical" courtship; against "biblical patriarchy" and Quiverfull doctrines; anti-abortion; anti-mainstream medicine; anti-immunizations; anti-circumcision; anti-legalism; anti-American Nationalism; anti-neutered foods and chemical living; anti-politically correct diet; anti-GMO crops and foods; against authoritative, punitive parenting; anti-modern-day prophets; against following the Mosaic Law; anti-Futuristic eschatology; anti-big government; anti-institutional childhood education; anti-unnatural, invasive childbirth....

Aaaaand I could go on. But I won't because that list is rather painful to read. I think it paints a picture of a person who is always up-in-arms about something. A picture that really isn't true of me, who I am, and what I believe. So let's turn it around, shall we?

I am pro-dating with boundaries and in agape love; pro- Biblical equality and Biblical headship; pro-having children; pro-life; pro-holistic medicine; pro-natural immunity; pro-intact men; pro-grace; pro-Kingdom of God all over the world; pro-organic, sustainable living; pro-whole foods diet; pro-natural, God-given, sustainable crops and foods; pro-peaceful, grace-filled, God-imitating parenting; pro-scriptural and individual revelation; pro- Law of Liberty; pro-Preterist eschatology; pro-Libertarian self-government; pro-homeschooling and life-learning; pro-natural childbirth.....

....get the picture? Is it just me, or does that second list paint a little different picture than the first? While the first list is just as true as the second (and, really, there cannot be one without the other), it is incomplete without the second. It is only one side of the coin, one half of who I am. Presenting that one half without the other is imbalanced and can cause misunderstanding, I think. I also think that focusing entirely on the negative can cause an unbalanced perspective of life.

I don't mind being known by what I am against. But I would also like to be known by what I am for. I write against damaging beliefs a lot, and that probably won't change anytime soon. But I am going to try to balance it more by writing about what I am for. Because I am just as passionately for as many things as I am passionately against. There is a time to speak out against evil, and a time to speak out for good. I pray that God would give me the discernment to know which is which. (And perhaps the discernment to know when to keep my mouth shut, but that's a different topic.....;) )


  1. Darcy:

    Nothing wrong with adding to your writing what you see good as well. Nothing at all!

    I have found from my own personal experience that those that accuse others of being 'anti everything' normally don't have the time, patience, nor knowledge to truly back up what they believe. They use that tactic to hopefully shut you up.

    I'm sure we all have times we come across as a bit edgy, cross, defensive, etc. at times. Its human.

    In the end I normally find those that accuse others of being 'anti everything' normally don't have many good things to say about 'anything' overall. It tends to be more projection.

    There is a difference between being anti everything, and just reminding people to listen to things they don't want to hear.

  2. Hannah, I totally agree. It's also a good way to attack the character of someone so you don't have to actually address their arguments. But still...it's always good to take a step back and make sure you're headed in the right direction. ;)

  3. Write whatever you're compelled and inspired to write, Darcy - good, bad, or ugly.

    I get emails all the time from people who apparently desire to become the "managing editor", describing to me how I'm going about things all wrong.

    Don't let it faze you, sis. Write what you're compelled and inspired to write.

  4. Oh trust me, Lewis, I will...that isn't going to change anytime soon. ;)

  5. It is true...we must be anti- and pro- at the same time.

    But not with people in my personal opinion. And I think, as Christians, this is a major schism in our lives as brothers and sisters in Christ. Just read around all the blogs to get a general idea of wars aplenty. I am not saying you are doing this (for I do not honestly know because I only occasionally look at some blogs). I am making a general observation.

    Mine is a heart that weeps for all the devastation. It takes a lot of work to write without condemning those about whom we must write because we write about issues we see which are in fact the anti- and the pro-.

    Yes...it is a lot of work. Forgiveness and repentance are key in my writing experience. It is good work for me. I find it refines me and draws me closer to the Lord Jesus. I am tired tonight so a bit melancholy with my observation. Please forgive me, I ask.

  6. Over the years I've spent way too much time on the Internet crusading against this or that. I've encountered the same criticism, usually from people who seemed upset that I gored their ox.

    Yet, increasingly over the last few years, I just don't have the energy for it. I can't sustain an argument past three or five posts without feeling completely worn out.

    Blogs like this need to exist, but they can take a toll on the authors. There is a negativity that is necessary, but it seems the human spirit has limits and will break down at some point.

  7. I could've written this post myself, I've been struggling so much with this very issue. Part of the problem is that no matter what you write about being FOR people will see anyway what that means you are against. And they tend to comment and respond to the negative much more than they do the positive. My most positive posts get zero comments. :)

  8. I stand for love, grace, and freedom in the Spirit. Sometimes, though, you have to tear down walls to set people free, break chains to free people to grace, and fight against hatred to spread love.

  9. I agree Benjamin Graber. Thank you for sharing.

    The sad part is many times, even when writing carefully, it is taken in offensively because the "walls" come with a good bit of pride, self protection (for the abused: this is not pride but a trust factor), or stark fear of one sort or another (which can be pride, for I have had it thrown at me that way because people do not like to look at their own issues).

    And in my personal experience, this means the person writing or speaking gets hit as Darcy is testifying she is getting. ):

    How the Lord is using this in my life: Keeping my eyes on the Lord alone. Although here lately, I wanted to quit (I've a book just about to be in print that is like what Darcy is talking about) and the Lord sent some people my way to pray for and weep for. In the parking lot before the people were sent to me, I had given up and told the Lord I would do what I do for Him alone because otherwise, it isn't worth the pain. And then, He reminded me of the hurting ones, the abused ones, the weak ones, the daughters of Christianity who are generally shut out and oppressed, and the personal stories that I was able to help as I already said. So I write for them. The others, I forgive them.

    I am sorry, Darcy. May the Lord bless your willing heart to continue. I personally am faint at heart more times than not, and I can testify He is there too.

  10. Having only read your blog a short while, and reading both of those lists, they give me an impression of a person who is, at her core, passionate about all she does.

    Thank you for writing these difficult things. Negative though it may be sometimes, for those who have been in abusive situations, it can be like a ray of light saying "You are not alone."

  11. It is amazing the difference between those two lists. I honestly happen by your blog now and then only because I have a friend who reads it, and I worry about her because lately she is very angry and references your posts.

    Reading your two lists, I see many more similarities between you and me in the second than I expected. It's not that I have disagreed with everything you've ever said here...I agree with some of it, haven't experience some of it, and felt attacked by some of it because I frankly didn't think you were willing to see more than what you were against. I felt you were judging my choics and not considering that it is the bad people who make certain things bad, not the thoughts or ideas themselves.

    Yet to see what you are FOR, I see there is a lot in your list that I, too, am for. I guess when I normally present my opinion (though I had not thought about it any more than you had), that the positive approach is my usual chosen path. I didn't realize until you said it that perhaps my issues with things you said were because you might tend to emphatically state what you don't like...instead of proposing what you are for. Interesting.

    I know there are readers of yours who will get defensive on your part over what I've said here, but if you are allowed to say your part, then I should be able to reciprocate, and I really don't think I've said anything you didn't already say.

    You are brave to put it out there the way you do. I don't think I could...but then, I don't have the motivation or background you do. I do believe it bears thinking about, though, that by putting things in a positive light sometimes, you might help others by helping them turn away from their darkness and towards the light. Something to think about...for both of us.

  12. Anon.,
    Thank you for your comment. I've so long been fighting against so many things, that I've only been able to get past that perspective in the past few months. I don't think I was wrong in past; it was just where I was at and what needed to be said. I've survived so much just from being on the defensive, but I'm ready now to go offence. :)

    I wouldn't worry too much about your friend. Sometimes anger is very necessary for healing. Don't try to stop her from being angry at wrong-doing. It's a process. Anger is just part of it. Sometimes getting good and mad is what it takes to finally be able to stand against evil, to have the courage to say "No! This is wrong!". It's not a place you want to stay your whole life, just a stop on the journey. There is a time for everything under the sun, a time for war and a time for peace...to tear down, and to build up...to weep and to laugh...to mourn and to dance....a time to cast away stones and to gather them...a time to keep silent and a time to speak. And God makes all these things beautiful in their time. :)