We keep hearing about women's and men's "roles" and who is and who is not following them correctly. We hear the phrase "Biblical roles" thrown about here and there. But a question keeps forming in the back of my mind:
Why would I want to play a "role" in my life and relationships?
Roles are for actors....people who are handed a script and told "Here is your character, your role in this play; do not stray from the script, ad lib, or get out of character. To do so will ruin the entire play and throw the other actors off. Stay in your role, perform it well, and everyone else will stay in theirs, and all will go well."
Is that how I want to live my life? To be handed a script with my role as "Godly Woman" printed on it for me to follow? A character I must stay in, a role to play? Interacting with other characters whose scripts have been handed them, never knowing who they truly are, but only who their character is?
What if all the people I love stop following their "roles" and start living day by day, finding out who God designed them to be, instead of playing a role given to them by church, tradition, and interpretations of ancient literature? What if life isn't a play, perfectly scripted, with perfect little actors playing their roles, interacting with each other accordingly, and making the time pass?
I am more than a script on a piece of paper...more than a role in a play. I am more than an actor in my life...someone following another's script, pretending to be something I'm really not. When God designed me, He didn't give me a role to play, He gave me a life to live. A life that is full of twists and turns and suprises and consequences, some mine, some not of my own doing. I have a choice in how I live and conduct the relationships in my life. God didn't hand me a script and say "this is your character; play this role". He gave me a life and said "Choose".
Are you playing a role, or living a life?
When I am on my deathbed, I will look back on my life and say, "I played a damn good role!"
ReplyDeleteBut, nobody will have written it for me.
I'm not sure any more. I keep kicking my role away only to find there doesn't seem to be much life available.
ReplyDeleteI like this!
ReplyDeleteLove this...love this...love this.
ReplyDelete- Renee
When the author of the above wrote "When God designed me, He didn't give me a role to play, He gave me a life to live." it sounds like she wants to do whatever she pleases.
ReplyDeleteRead Romans 1:5-10 and ask yourself if the author of the above is a follower of Christ, i.e repentant.
*chuckle...
ReplyDeleteYou would be correct on one point, if I were a she.
Oops. LOL! Anon wasn't referring to me as the author. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly certain Darcy is clear in her posts that she doesn't beat the Bible over her head as a rule book of life. We have brains to think for ourselves, as did Paul. What he says has no bearing on you or I unless we agree with it. And, in many ways, I don't.
That may not be Darcy's position, but I'll go out on a limb and claim that she has a brilliant brain for thinking.
Yup, that's right, I'm just rebellious and don't like rules and hate being told what to do. Guess I need to repent...of...um...not sure what?? Not towing the fundy line I guess. :P
ReplyDeleteIC is right...I don't beat the Bible over my head as a rule book. But I could beat it over yours if you'd like. I used to be quite good at that, actually.
Oh, and it's really hard to take seriously anyone who's too cowardly to put their name on a insult. Really? If you're so confident that you're right, and I'm going to hell, why stay anonymous? I have no patience for self-righteous religious cowards.
ReplyDeleteIf I am wrong then is it correct to show me where I am through the Bible?
ReplyDeleteJoe
P.S. I only used Anonymous because I didn't have an yahoo, etc.
Yeah. How about reading the whole freaking book of Galatians? You'll be surprised to discover that, for many principles or teachings in the Bible, there is an opposite one or a differently nuanced one.
ReplyDeleteLike: Women submit and shut up! But, there is no male nor female in the body of Christ.
Etc, etc. Bible proof texting gets nobody anywhere. Its the reason why we have so many denominations that despise other denominations.
What if we're all correct? Or, none of us are?
Show you from the Bible why you're wrong about me wanting to "do whatever I please"??? I'm confused. What, exactly is this argument about? Because all I did was post a few thoughts I had and you accused me (in a passive-aggressive way) of not being a Christian......??? And not being "repentant". But I'm confused as to what I should repent of.
ReplyDeleteDarcy:
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I write things it does not come out the way I was thinking it. As I read your post I found myself thinking that you do not care what the Bible says. It sounded like you had "thrown it away." Is this what you meant to convey. I know I am not the only person to understand you this way.
Incongruous Circumspection:
I think I understand where you are coming from.
Joe
I will go out on a limb in the affirmative. I do not care what the Bible says. I don't think Jesus did either. At least, not the Bible we know today.
ReplyDeleteIt is a great book and displays how others see God. Good for learning and expanding one's view of God and religion in general. But, most definitely not for a rule book for life.
If that were so, women would have their heads covered, we would all be living in a commune, giving all of our money to the common good with the threat of death if we hold some back and don't reveal that fact, and stoning our children when they give us the evil eye.
I'm pretty sure that when Paul said, "All Scripture is given by inspiration...", he wasn't referring to the words he wrote to state that.
This post had nothing to do with the Bible. I'm not sure why you think it should? I was merely challenging the christian terminology that states that we all have "roles" and woe to those who step outside of them. We need to think about what we're saying when we tell people they must stay in character of their "God-given roles". We are essentially telling them to play a part, to act out a script. I don't believe God ever gave us "roles" to follow. Instead, He created us as living, feeling, free-willed beings, after His own image, and told us to choose the path we walk...to walk with Him or without Him. To love Him with everything we have and to love other people the same. We are told (in the Bible) that these two things fulfill everything else. That's all I was trying to say.
ReplyDeleteI don't "throw out the Bible"...I throw out conservative christians' interpretation of the Bible. Be very careful that you are not mixing the two things up next time you accuse someone of not being a christian. Just because I don't follow the Bible your way, doesn't mean I don't follow the Bible.
It's ironic...The term "actor" is a cousin to ipocrite/hypocrita - the modern hypocrite: a stage actor, hence one who pretends to be what he is not, equivalent to hypokrī́...which, if you use "the bible" as a rigid script for life, you more often than not turn out to be.
ReplyDeleteI really wish the folks at EA software would come out with "The Sims:Fundamentalist Fervor", so that fundamentalists could do their role-playing there rather than in the real world.
ReplyDeleteOMG, Lewis, that is a brilliant idea! LOLz They might even let the little fundies play, you never know. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI watched a documentary last week where a pastor challenged a fundamentalist statement: "But the Bible says!" With "No, that's what the Bible reads." I found this a very important distinction.
ReplyDeleteWow. Lewis. That's brilliant.
ReplyDeleteExactly my thoughts, Darcy. Why follow a role at all? Joe, we are not free to do what ever we want. We are free to be everything God made us to be. That's the kind of woman I want to be. Real, genuine, from the inside. Not an actor. AMEN! If you want some to repent, better say what of, cuz I don't see anything in this Darcy needs to repent of.
Darcy,
ReplyDeleteI wondered what my sister had to say about your post so I sent it to her. She know where she can read it.
Sounds nice and liberating but potentially dangerous. Whoever wrote this might want to go read Exodus and Leviticus and see how God uses VERY STRICT “roles”, or guidelines for the Israelites to live by for their protection because he knew of their ability to be self-serving. When I think of my role as a wife or a mother I don’t think of it as what is stated below. I think of it as a way of life that God has designed for me, a woman, so that I can be most fulfilled in his plan for me. I don’t feel the church has ever given me a role to play. I think people are so independent they resist any healthy guidelines or boundaries because they want to be their own boss. Now, for someone who is legalistic or has come from a legalistic church, some of what is written below may truly be a bit of truth and bit of “fresh air” for them. Nothing is always black and white. I think the whole line about roles are for actors …. is an extreme statement.
happily married mother of four
Excellent post, Darcy.
ReplyDeleteEveryone who talks about "roles" always says that the man should be the leader. But what they always forget is that Jesus totally redefined the role of the leader. The "leader" should be the first one to sacrifice himself for others. I'm sorry, but I don't see most so-called leaders doing that.
Christ came to set us free from needing to follow a set of rules and rituals to be holy. Now we are free to live loved, as children of God. No longer are we servants trying to please a hard taskmaster, but children growing up into a deeper relationship with a loving Father.
Blessings,
Ben
@Anon 5:38...
ReplyDeleteSounds nice and liberating but potentially dangerous.
Food is potentially dangerous, but I don't live in fear of it.
Something fundamentalist Christianity seems to have forgotten about is self-control - a fruit of the Holy Spirit (something else fundamentalist Christianity has forgotten, if it ever knew of it at all).
Those "VERY STRICT" roles you mention in Exodus and Leviticus were written to a Holy Spirit-less people who were under the curse. Are you under a curse? Are you Holy Spirit-less?
If you are going to use Scripture as a rule-book, then you need to remember the rule in Romans 14: do not pass judgment on disputable matters.
ReplyDeleteWhere there is no rule, explicitly stated or *necessarily* implied, there is freedom. And Scripture does not proscribe gender "roles." The word "role" is read back into Scripture by human beings, to explain what they think they are seeing.
If you feel that you personally can benefit from holding yourself back from your headstrong ways, go for it. That is between you and God. But people with different personalities may be too passive, and obeying God for them means putting themselves out there more, and embracing more possibilities in life. That is between them and God.
God really does make a better God than human beings, even human beings who are doing their best to speak faithfully for Him. Let's encourage each other to be directly accountable to Him.
Verity3
I prefer not use to the word "role" at all in describing what I do and how I live. I don't believe in "playing a role".
ReplyDeleteMy purpose in life is to glorify God. My calling has differed throughout my life: student, wife, mother, pastor's wife, caregiver, etc.
In fulfilling my purpose, I serve in different callings (depending on stages in life and direction of the Lord), but all is done to glorify Him.
The Bible teaches me to be kind, loving, tender hearted, to witness, to give, to serve, I am to be patient, to forbear one another, to guard my tongue, etc. But no where does the Bible teach, "pretend or play like you are a wife".
I am a believer in Jesus and as I serve my calling as wife, I am to put on Christ and allow Him to live His life through me. I cannot do and be all that the Bible requires, I must trust that Christ will do these things through me and in me as I submit to Him.
I don't worry about "doing the right thing" or "being right". The Christian life is supposed to be a spontaneous result of being in relationship with Jesus Christ, not a list of rules and roles to follow.
Elaine
Freedom and free will are the most potentially dangerous things on the planet. But God apparently didn't mind taking that risk when he gave us both. I am very familiar with both Exodus and Leviticus. But I'm pretty sure Galations is the book you might want to go read. The one that says "if you walk in the Spirit, you don't need to fear walking in the flesh" and "stand fast therefore in the liberty (from the law, which is in Ex. and Lev.) by which Christ has made you free". I am not afraid of the freedom which God gave me to live my life. Might I abuse it? Already have. Should that make me afraid of using it? Absolutely not. Should that make me run back to the bondage of the law and rules and regulations? No way...which is what the book of Galations is about.
ReplyDeleteElaine and Darcy, I hear you loud and clear. I'm still trying to work out what "where there is no law" means. Is it fading away? Has it already faded? But freedom and grace are definitely already here. I'm just not sure the "no-rules" rule isn't another example of human-made tyranny.
ReplyDeleteStill working through it all. Blessings!
Verity3
Verity, my comment was in reply to the other anon. comment before yours. Sorry that wasn't clear. :P
ReplyDeleteI didn't think you were addressing me primarily, Darcy. But I'm still hearing a distinct perspective. Maybe I'm too used to feeling in the middle all the time. Or maybe different people mean different things when they say similar things.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm wrestling these days with what obedience means in light of freedom in Christ. There seem to be three general approaches among my fellow believers: (1) There are no more rules, except to love God and each other, and then everything else will fall into place; (2) There are other rules still in effect, but the Christian is to follow God's rules without adding human regulations; (3) There are other rules still in effect, and the Christian is to follow God's rules over human regulations, but here's a few more rules to help you stay within God's rules.
For me the tension is between (1) and (2). But I know people with each of these three approaches, all of whom seem to grasp our inability to "keep the rules," relying on Christ's sacrifice. The difference seems to be: Having given our hearts to God, how are we to live out loving Him and each other?
Verity3
Put me under #1. Jesus Himself said on these hang all the law and the prophets. Paul said in Romans 13:8-10 that love fulfills all law. I think that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteVerity, I am at #1, too. Both Jesus and Paul said that love fulfills the whole law. Galatians says that when we follow the Spirit, we will bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, etc. I don't think we need to worry about following laws if we are set on following the Spirit and living by love.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Ben
I guess I'm not prepared to equate "greatest commandments" with "only commandments." But now I'm wondering if both (1) and (2) are imperfect attempts to explain what Jesus is really saying. Maybe we're both facing Him, but walking toward Him from different directions. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, I see that I need to read Galatians again.
Verity3
Verity,
ReplyDeleteI might feel the same way ifthe Bible only said that love was the greatest commandment, but it says more than that:
Matthew 22:40: "On these two commandments the whole law hangeth, and the prophets."
Romans 13:10: "Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: love therefore is the fulfilment of the law."
Galatians 5:14: "For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."
FULFILLED is a very different word from "greatest".
May you be blessed as you continue to walk by faith!
Blessings,
Ben
Ben, Unfortunately, you treat the Bible as one organism, which it isn't. It is merely a collection of books by authors that wrote to the best of their understanding.
ReplyDeleteThus, we can look to our understanding, as to which is the greatest commandment. Contrary to orthodox Christianity, we can therefore pick and choose what we believe.
If you don't see it that way, you have to go through severe pretzel theology to explain away things like eternal security, God's desire that none perish, the butchering of millions of innocent people in the Old Testament, etc., etc.
Darcy is perfectly able to decide what she has decided herself because faith is decidedly personal, being we have no verifiable proof of anything and thus nobody can claim absolute truth.
Ben. I apologize. I completely misread your response. So, I would rather the above comment be addressing others, rather than you specifically.
ReplyDeleteJoe, sorry if my response was confusing; I am very passionate about the freedom we have in Christ and certainly did NOT mean to imply that we need to follow the long list of commandments of the Old Covenant. I believe that we are free from those, and are only called to live by love.
ReplyDeleteI think "it says more than that" was a bad choice of words on my part. :-/ I meant that love FULFILLS the law (thus, we don't need to keep it), and isn't merely the greatest commandment.
Blessings to you!
Ben
Yeah. I caught that too late. I'm an idiot. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am late in this conversation!
ReplyDeleteThanks Darcy, good thoughts - the whole role things has been an awful burden on so many women and men!
The Bible is nuanced. It was also written in a specific time-period to a specific culture; a Jewish, ancient and Asian culture. It is the heart of the gospel that is absolute, for all times and all places. Things like "act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God," never change but the methodology particulars of how that is lived out of course does.
For too long people have been worrying about what is women's work and what is men's work and not enough about God's work and what he wants us to do in response. Thank God Amy Carmichal and Mother Theresa rejected the usual "roles" of women carried out God's work.
Good grief, reading through this thread is exhausting.
ReplyDeleteIf I can add my 2 cents...
I really don't think that it is meant to be this hard. I think if we keep the commandments and follow the Golden Rule, then we are pretty much set overall. When we are shown that we are in no way able to follow the law perfectly all the time (Although, I would hope that most of us could at least refrain from committing murder.) we repent because we really do live in a state of grace through Christ Jesus.
I'd rather trust in that, then spend a lot of time reading my Bible. Frankly, most of it is over my head and I just don't care enough or have time to really ponder on it the way others do. I do my best, God knows that, and we're good with it. It works for us. And that's all that matters.