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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

In Defense of a Friend

This website was recently brought to my attention. While reading, I was blown away by the cruelty masked as "truth-defending". I tend to think the best about people but in this piece, I can find no "best". She has gone from discussing an idea to attacking a person. That person happens to be my friend and one whom I love. What Mrs. McDonald wrote is nothing short of below-the-belt hits and deceptive, passive-aggressive personal attacks on someone she does not even know. Her words drip the venom of someone who is cornered and threatened. But why? If she is so right, and the rest of us so wrong, as she asserts, why should she even bother?

She says that she is thankful that the issues in Hillary's book have now been brought to the table for discussion. However, these issues have been discussed for a long time now. Could it be that before Hillary bared her heart in a self-published book, those of us who spoke out against "biblical patriarchy" and spiritual abuse were merely a fly in their ointment? But now....now a book has been written with the heart and soul of a living, breathing woman, her pain easily felt on it's pages, her heart for the hearts of others so evident, that now they are feeling threatened. Now they are on the attack. Now they are resorting to personal attacks of the kind that no person calling themselves a Christ-follower should ever participate in.

Is their Cause so weak that logic and reason and scripture can no longer support it so they have to resort to attacking people? People who are fellow heirs of grace? Her venom is masked with "concern"....concern that "children" will read Hillary's words and use them as fodder for "rebellion". But what about concern for the heart of all the men and women she has labeled as "rebellious", "wicked", "emotional", false victims, deceptive, "irresponsible", seducing, baiting, among other things? The whole tone of her post portrays, not concern for anyone's heart and soul, but the concern of someone who is afraid of losing control over others' hearts and souls.

Mrs. McDonald prints a letter from Hillary's sister that not only makes Hillary out to be a liar, but also outs part of her family whom Hillary has tried so hard to protect and keep anonymous. Mrs. McDonald pitted one sister against another and for what cause? Who could possibly be edified by a personal battle of "he said, she said"? It was an under-handed blow and completely inappropriate. But it certainly was revealing. Anyone who would stoop that low is not to be trusted with any personal information. Because it just might be used against you.

There are many issues I would like to address in her post. Perhaps I will when I can get past the mean-spirited tone of the whole thing. I certainly hope others who are better at articulating thoughts than I am will speak up. But for now, I will leave it at this: people can complain, attack, divide, and throw blows all they like. They cannot stop the outpouring of healing that has begun. They cannot take away our joy in the grace and freedom of Christ. We of the first and second generation of homeschoolers are discovering who we are because of Jesus Christ and nothing in heaven or hell will ever entice us to go back. You can throw your attacks, and it might hurt, but we are standing fast in the liberty for which Christ has made us free. We have tasted true intimacy with God, our Creator and Lover, and it is intoxicating.

On second thought, I am a rebel. I rebel against the idea that life can fit into a neat formula. I rebel against the teaching that says I am only acceptable if I perform correctly. I rebel against the thought that I, as a woman, cannot have a voice except through the men in my life. I rebel against anybody and everybody who invokes the Name of my Savior to control me. I rebel against the "christianity" that is promoted by posts like the above, and propped up by people who resort to name-calling and attacking a girl who they don't even know, whose heart they cannot even understand. I stand with a growing army of rebels, whose cry is "Give us Jesus! Give us the pure gospel!" No apologies. Just grace and truth.


  1. I rebel against anybody and everybody who invokes the Name of my Savior to control me.

    Amen, Darcy. It's the functional definition of taking the Lord's name in vain.

    I stand with you, sis.

  2. Thank you. You said it very well.

    Stay strong. :)

  3. Thanks for being willing to stand.

  4. Does she have ANY honor?

    I am aghast, speechless, stunned, hurt, and angry.

    Young, sinful, impressionable, deceived, pretending/imagining, complaining, playing victim... yeah why do all those names sound familiar?

    OH.... yeah! My parents used them a lot. Funny, they were VF too...

  5. Another very appropriate post, Darcy. I agree with you, and though I don't know Hillary persoanally, I think she's the best!! We have to consider the source when these nasty attacks come forth. Hillary is exposing the truth,
    and some people are going to react to that very negatively. Thanks for your articulate words.

  6. I love you Darcy! Do you mind if I link to this post?

  7. I never mind, Shadowspring. :) Go for it!

  8. So well said, Darcy.

    Jesus was a rebel, too, so if I'm going to be called that because I stand for and speak up for His truth and His alone, then I'll wear it like a badge of honor.

    You are so right that Stacy McDonald isn't to be trusted when she uses personal correspondence as fodder for her war. It's shameful. SHAMEFUL!

    Stacy and her cohorts are grasping at straws because we're no longer willing to be quiet.

  9. It looks like her site is back up again with the old posts deleted & one new post, comments disabled until the "site is complete."

  10. I posted this the day before Stacy opened her new web of deceit, I mean, blog. :)


    I wish it wasn't so plain how it was all going to play out, but then she's just following an old, tiresome script, like DoaHF already pointed out.

  11. Excellent post! Love your comment about true intimacy with God, and being a rebel against formulaic living.

    Rachel Ramer

  12. I've read here for a while but am more of a lurker than commenter. I was just wondering if I could make a suggestion... I have no complaint about your post here but maybe writing further posts against her post would make you look like her writing a blog against Hillary's blog? I think it's ridiculous that she's started a blog against a book and I would have left a comment of similar if they weren't closed! I think a better defense for her (or anyone's) position--rather than writing a blog or loudly defending verbally--is to remain silent...unless the issue being raised is a very serious one that actually has direct ramifications on your personal life. If Hillary's book was about Mrs M, writing a public blog in defense may have some merit. Anyway, since I think there is definitely issues with Quiverfull etc, I'd hate to see it all turn into a big argument or mud-slinging match. Hillary has spoken out--good for her! Let them attack back if that's what they want...but let's not stoop to the same level in return, because it will only serve to discredit the side of freedom. Does that make sense? Please don't take this as any criticism of you...it's totally not. :)

  13. I think there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. The hard part is figuring out which is which. :) I really don't feel the need or have the desire to pick her posts apart. Unless I become directly involved. I don't want a mud-slinging match either. I definitely knew that something needed to be said about the way she cruelly drug Hillary's character through the mud. AS for the rest of it...I think I'll bow out. Unless I absolutely can't stand NOT saying anything. ;)

  14. Beautiful post, Darcy!
    Comments on "Steadfast" are actually still open...go to the "Articles" page and comment away :)

  15. As long as we tell the truth, we're automatically operating on a different level.

  16. The writter is Abigail, but is she a real person or a made up character telling a fictitous story? There is a photo and something said about each contributor except her.

    Their cause is to be right, because if they are wrong they have alot to loose.

    I am glad that the truth is being spoken about the dangers and consequences of this movement.

  17. Stacey shares her childhood in this powerful blog post.