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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Kid Randomness

Did you know that if you mix spit with crayons you can make finger paint?

This is just one of the many interesting things I wouldn't have learned if I didn't have kids.

Kailey decided that she wants to fly helicopters. She also thinks that fairies live in the back yard and is determined to find one and put it in her bug jar. We tried keeping a caterpillar alive in her jar but it died after 2 days. Probably in self-defence. She keeps asking me to find her some pixie dust so she can fly. She thinks the local grocery store carries it. I'm not sure how to tell her the truth, but she probably wouldn't believe it anyways.

Faith apparently knows to cheer at football games. We were at a pizza place last week and a football game was on the TV. She started getting excited and making the sign for "ball". Then she threw her hands up in the air and yelled "yay!!" at the top of her lungs several times during the game, causing everyone in the restraunt to look at us. Oh, for the abandon that children have. Did I mention that we don't watch football, nor have we ever taken her to a game? Also, never give her your cell phone. She can rearrange the icons, change your wall-paper pic, and text someone in 30 seconds flat. Don't ask me how I know.

Joel found out he could stand all by himself yesterday and the look on his face was sheer wonder. I'm in trouble with that one. Whenever Elvis comes on, he starts shaking his little booty and clapping. It's pretty cute. He loves the kitty (though his love in unrequited) and chases bugs around the floor. He wrinkles his nose when he grins at you. I think he's going to be a genious because I'm intuitive like that.

Sky took Kailey with him to run some errands the other day. When they came back, she was chewing gum...a huge no-no in my book. I asked him why he gave her gum and he said "It was the only way to get her to stop talking". Well, yes, the child talks non-stop. My mom says what goes around comes around. Sky says, "Then why do I have suffer for it, too?" I keep claiming that the ADHD comes from his side of the family but he won't have it. Oh look...a squirrel! Wait, what was I saying?

Oh yeah, crayons. So did you know that crayons have more uses than are described on the box? You can chew them up and make multi-colored spit, then use that to finger-paint the table, chairs, fridge, and kitchen floor. Also, canoe paddles make great swords. And work wonderfully for leaning up against the tree, so you can climb them to reach that branch that is just too high to get to.

Give my kids a swimming pool, and they'll have it full of mud in no time. Then they'll put the slide in it and slide into the mud. Occasionally I'll fill it with bubbles for them. Mud and bubbles are a strange combination, let me tell you.

One of the girls' favorite pass-times is wrestling. Sometimes I intervene because I'm not thrilled with their game of trying to beat each other up. It hurts me just watching them. Most of the time I don't watch and if no one is screaming then they must be fine.

Whatever happened to sugar and spice and everything nice?

Kailey keeps walking up to random women and asking them if they're pregnant. She seems to think all women have babies in their tummies. She asked my friend this the other day and my friend replied with a laugh, "No, I'm just fat!" Kailey then turned around and announced to the whole room, "Mommy, she's fat!" *head in hands*

Faith wouldn't eat her dinner the other day. I caught her later, sitting on her swing, happily munching on a bowl of cat food. I'm tempted to try it myself since the kids love it so much. I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Kailey took scissors to her hair, which resulted in her waist-length hair becoming a cute, sholder-length cut. She then chopped off a bunch right in front of her face a week later. When I asked her why she did it again, she replied coolly, "It was in my face, Mom". Like, duh.

Sometimes it is all I can do to keep my kids and the cat alive and in one piece. Somedays I think I will be completely insane by the time I'm 30. If I make it that long. I haven't even told you all about the mud pies in the kitchen, insects in their beds, sliding in boxes down the basement stairs, climbing and jumping out of trees, eating sand, and numerous crises and disasters that happen every single day. And they're only -4 years old. How do mothers keep their children alive and well long enough to graduate?!

Now I know why there are mother of pre-schoolers support groups.

I wish I could say that I always love being a mother and that life is a bed of roses. But I don't and it's not. Oh, I have many moments of joy, usually mixed with moments of "that's it, I'm through! I QUIT!!!!" and there's usually more of the former than the later, thankfully. I love my kids, love their creativity and passion for life. But sometimes I wonder "what they heck were we thinking?!" Then Kailey tells me I'm so cute and Faith gives me a huge kiss and Joel falls asleep all snuggly in my arms and I just want to freeze those moments and keep them that way forever.

People keep telling me that they don't stay little forever. My answer? I certainly hope not! ;) Someday I'll miss the sand in their diapers, mud all over them, and crayon-spit "paint" all over the kitchen.

Then again....maybe not......


  1. I go on strike at least once a week. My husband will come home to find a mysterious puddle leaking out of the bathroom onto the just-mopped floors, every book in the house piled on the living room rug, one daughter covered in flour, the other covered in self-administered body art, and their mother hiding on the balcony gulping some fresh air. And yet, the next morning, I can hardly wait to hug them and start into another adventure of a day with them. They haven't tried crayon-spit paint yet though... :)

  2. My girls (6 and 3 1/2) do crayon-spit makeup. They come up to me with unnaturally pink lips and blue-lined eyelids. Which is really funny because I don't wear makeup. Gotta love those washable crayons!

    I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I really enjoy it! You write beautifully! :)


  3. LOL! Oh, I miss when my babies were little!

    Sounds so fun, and makes me want to borrow someone else's little ones for a day.

    Crayon makeup? Sounds like someone has a future career at Revlon...

  4. Shadowspring, you can borrow mine any time you like. Will today work for you? :P

    I hope I will get to the point where I miss it. :)