tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post371768340557395715..comments2024-02-16T19:07:42.535-08:00Comments on Darcy's Heart-Stirrings: In Which I Have An EpiphanyDarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-56789810406203926252010-11-23T08:19:59.665-08:002010-11-23T08:19:59.665-08:00I just read this for the first time today, and it ...I just read this for the first time today, and it is so true. In my case, I have only people's reactions to my siblings to go by, but it is very much like this. You have to homeschool, you have to be "modest", your kids have to be perfectly behaved angels.<br /><br />The irony is, the "perfect angels" are just as misbehaved and bratty as anyone else's kids, just outside of their parent's sight! :-P :-P My parents definitely get judged over my 7 year old brother... he is wild wild wild and pretty impossible. <br /><br />Everyone is a perfect parent of other people's kids. :-PJoanna Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03240506825764536504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-41014735584548898952010-06-05T08:24:18.477-07:002010-06-05T08:24:18.477-07:00I dunno what to tell ya, Evan. Maybe the people yo...I dunno what to tell ya, Evan. Maybe the people you grew up with WERE loving and non-judgmental, conservative or not. Maybe they weren't as influenced by the Pearl's teachings as the groups I ran in. I would say maybe my experience was unusual, but by the comments here and many, many other people I've talked to, I don't think it was. Honestly, I think it has more to do with different circles of "conservative homeschool" people and the books they pass around, the sermons they listen to, and the teachings they follow. In our circles, books that taught that your 2-yr-old should always be perfectly obedient or you are doing something wrong were often passed around and lauded as wonderful.Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-42271277381506043032010-06-04T07:49:07.039-07:002010-06-04T07:49:07.039-07:00Reading stories like these makes me happy, but als...Reading stories like these makes me happy, but also confused. See, I thought that I grew up in the "conservative Christian subculture," and I did see some hints at the kinds of things you talk about in some families, but for the most part it was a very positive, supportive, non-judgmental environment. So I'm not sure if my experience wasn't really "conservative," or if there is just a "subculture of a subculture" that has these problems.Evanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15502905069008046084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-87893417457866368092010-05-03T12:52:36.643-07:002010-05-03T12:52:36.643-07:00Wow, Robin, that's awesome. Our last church wa...Wow, Robin, that's awesome. Our last church was actually great about kids, too. It was just the groups we ran in that were into giving "friendly advice" and judgment. My 2nd daughter is a special needs child (most likely ASD) so I totally understand where you're coming from. Thanks for visiting and commenting!Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-9257125765099663662010-05-02T19:03:46.447-07:002010-05-02T19:03:46.447-07:00Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog and what a post...Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog and what a post that I needed to read! <br /><br />I grew up in a conservative church and never really fit in. I thought too much- or so I was told. I wore jeans to church and would not be caught dead in a dress or skirt. <br /><br />My DD was born and was a high needs baby. She was a screamer and nearly impossible to settle. I was told that I was spoiling her and I just needed to let her cry it out. We quit going to church for a long while because people were so judgmental towards us. This was at several churches, too. It still kills me that at a time in my life when I needed help the most, all I got was jeers. My husband nearly walked away from the faith over it all.<br /><br />Fast forward to when she was five, she was finally DNX with severe ADHD, ODD and sensory disorder. We faced even MORE criticism when we -gasp- medicated her. She went from non functional to very functional. We refused to apologize for that!<br /><br />Again, we were in and out of church for over a year before we decided to give the church (of another denomination) that was right across the street a shot. I had been resistant to changing but things in my old denomination (SBC) was going places we did not want to go teaching wise and with our past experience we were willing to give something else a shot.<br /><br />What a difference it was! She was looked upon as a wonderful-though very active- joy! Instead of judgment, I was told I had wonderful patience and understanding of her needs. People loved on her and they loved on us and gave us encouragement. <br /><br />DD would flip over in the chair, feet in the air or blurt out during the sermon and no one cared! No whispers, no glares, no 'friendly advice' no condemnation! We have been active members for almost three years now and would not change anything for the world!<br /><br />In turn, I was able to reach out to a visiting family with a daughter who has severe autism. They had much the same experiences with other churches that we did. They officially joined the church just a few months ago. :)Not So Perfectly Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02780838571941538615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-22408374608966186772010-05-01T23:01:18.390-07:002010-05-01T23:01:18.390-07:00I found this post via Elizabeth Esther's Satur...I found this post via Elizabeth Esther's Saturday Evening Blog Post. Thank you for writing this epiphany! It sounds like we grew up in similar cultures. Your post has really made me think about the expectations I place on my kids and myself in regards to how well behaved they appear in public. I know that I am still being judged by those of my family and friends who still have expectations of perfectly behaved children, but why should I let that bother and influence me so much? Really? It cannot be healthy as it is so, so stressful.MVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06323090317962361360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-17670583977276329952010-05-01T13:23:19.093-07:002010-05-01T13:23:19.093-07:00I dream about experiancing that some day. Right no...I dream about experiancing that some day. Right now we are still stuck in the super-conservative crowd, but I've just recently realized (as have you) that they are the only ones who expect perfection and persecute "in love" whenever you don't meet their standards.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-1164671768373062392010-04-29T07:50:42.249-07:002010-04-29T07:50:42.249-07:00Love this so much! :DLove this so much! :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-1319636162402997252010-04-28T15:48:34.545-07:002010-04-28T15:48:34.545-07:00Awesome Darcy and a bellowing AMEN!Awesome Darcy and a bellowing AMEN!Koranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-50732138759014558762010-04-28T05:32:34.902-07:002010-04-28T05:32:34.902-07:00Keep going and never stop. God is your loving Heav...Keep going and never stop. God is your loving Heavenly Father who adores His imperfect children!a lotta joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04042659092366167038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-3723164942615839852010-04-26T17:56:58.373-07:002010-04-26T17:56:58.373-07:00WoW!!! Are you serious??? I forget about that. Alo...WoW!!! Are you serious??? I forget about that. Along those lines, this only-in-the-conservative-world was my biggest shock when I went to college. I met people so opposite of my entire subculture that I had no idea how to respond.<br /><br />So yes, thank you for saying that!Marlananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-52324655306082999312010-04-26T14:29:16.768-07:002010-04-26T14:29:16.768-07:00I appreciate this so much. When did perfection bec...I appreciate this so much. When did perfection become the Christian Standard? There is only one perfect and it isn't me or my kids. Nor those well behaved kids in the front row. <br /><br />Found my way here through thatmom.<br /><br />Thanks again for sharing your heart and His grace. So refreshing.Sandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12953023131915534135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-77234622330136300222010-04-26T13:24:07.297-07:002010-04-26T13:24:07.297-07:00Darcy coming out of legalism is so refreshing, isn...Darcy coming out of legalism is so refreshing, isn't? Everything seems new and good, the stress roles off and you just feel like dancing ALL the time!! I can relate!Mrs. Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06877131706147296827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-57437409408358023142010-04-26T11:07:10.824-07:002010-04-26T11:07:10.824-07:00Darcy,
I'm SO happy for you. Enjoy God's ...Darcy, <br />I'm SO happy for you. Enjoy God's grace, then perhaps you can really enjoy Him, and your family, and the people around you more than you ever imagined.Laurie M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15840896949617719814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-87978387383293026532010-04-26T10:32:39.748-07:002010-04-26T10:32:39.748-07:00Aw, Darcy, enjoy the love! May it wash all over y...Aw, Darcy, enjoy the love! May it wash all over you and your little family and just drip from all over you out onto a thirsty world. :)shadowspringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15172112981244682382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-76515576414225235012010-04-26T09:48:38.644-07:002010-04-26T09:48:38.644-07:00Thanks for this! We sat in front of one of those&q...Thanks for this! We sat in front of one of those"perfect" families yesterday in church;-). My toddler was, shall we say, "imperfect":-). This was a good reminder of the things that are important in life!Resanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-9225722412038282142010-04-26T09:21:25.843-07:002010-04-26T09:21:25.843-07:00To quote a friend, we are in the "normal midd...To quote a friend, we are in the "normal middle!"thatmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05749567393301385829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-51581597908580762772010-04-26T08:36:55.079-07:002010-04-26T08:36:55.079-07:00Karen, thank you for your comment! You know, I'...Karen, thank you for your comment! You know, I've decided that I can't classify myself as "conservative Christian" any more. The connotations that go with that label just don't fit me or my family. We're just followers of Christ...liberal to some conservative to others. But I don't think it really matters. :)Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-15163232313115052972010-04-26T08:07:57.363-07:002010-04-26T08:07:57.363-07:00Oh, and thanks for passing that grace all around.....Oh, and thanks for passing that grace all around...thatmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05749567393301385829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-46297632609527717312010-04-26T08:06:28.074-07:002010-04-26T08:06:28.074-07:00Darcy, I have had some of the same experiences. an...Darcy, I have had some of the same experiences. and you are correct. It has made me rethink what it means to be "conservative." I still hold to the Bible as the inerrant Word of God. I just choose to study the whole Bible and not land repeatedly on those "pink,homeschool mom" verses! The other day I read a comment from a woman who said that she doesn't read her Bible often but when she does,she always goes back to those familiar verses that have been so poorly presented and have been taught with a paradigm and agenda in mind. She is slowly drowning and doesn't know why and the responses she got were to "keep reading those passages and obey them."<br /><br />Your blog is so refreshing....it is hopeful to me,let me just say! {{{{{}}}}}thatmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05749567393301385829noreply@blogger.com