tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post8911499264221264727..comments2024-02-16T19:07:42.535-08:00Comments on Darcy's Heart-Stirrings: I Remember.....Darcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-33885321730713464702011-08-18T08:18:27.584-07:002011-08-18T08:18:27.584-07:00Came to your blog through a link on Quivering Daug...Came to your blog through a link on Quivering Daughters blog. I just wanted to tell you that your words are so heartfelt and really reach me. Even though my story is so different then yours in many ways it still echoes my heart because I know what it's like to feel things so strongly inside and not be able to share them because of fear and trying to please others. Thank you for being so open and sharing this.Azurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09687847200523053790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-85822148697485469722011-02-03T20:52:25.623-08:002011-02-03T20:52:25.623-08:00I keep leaving comments on old posts... :) I am re...I keep leaving comments on old posts... :) I am reading through and just have strong reactions. I see so much of how I felt growing up... It wasn't always with the legalism; and a lot of it wasn't connected to Christianity, but the same type of attitude was there. I could especially relate to being told that you're too independent to ever get married. My mother said that once to me too. I remember that conversation very clearly. She told me:<br /><br />"You're not submissive enough to deserve marriage. No man will ever desire someone as rebellious and independent as you. Who could ever love someone as headstrong as you?" I remembered being completely hurt, but I stuffed it all down and replied defiantly:<br /><br />"Maybe you're right. Maybe no man will ever love me. But if someone can't love me as I am, I don't even WANT a relationship with them." Then I glared at her and said: "That goes for you too."<br /><br />We fought a lot after I said that, but years later, she told me that she was so thankful I said that to her, that she was hurt at the time but it changed her heart on the matter. Healing IS possible!Sakiinahttp://blog.neoqueenserenity.net/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-75729706752498000552010-09-28T13:07:17.549-07:002010-09-28T13:07:17.549-07:00Aw, Jessica, I'm sorry. :( My mom does the sam...Aw, Jessica, I'm sorry. :( My mom does the same things, only she's more subtle. So I know how you feel. Glad that I could help!Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-90809681992461930782010-09-27T20:27:55.784-07:002010-09-27T20:27:55.784-07:00{{Jessica}} I'm so sorry that your mother said...{{Jessica}} I'm so sorry that your mother said that to you; it hurts especially when a mama says that. I'm thankful Darcy's article helps! Big hugs...Hillaryhttp://www.quiveringdaughters.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-40688004737883987602010-09-24T18:34:51.994-07:002010-09-24T18:34:51.994-07:00Thank you. Just today my mom called me crazy and s...Thank you. Just today my mom called me crazy and said I was lying about my past.said to forget it and move on,said what happend shouldn't still bother me,and then defended her motives,I was in tears,and she said I was bitter. This post made me feel sane again,so once again thank you.Jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-3029637781890896952010-08-31T09:38:47.266-07:002010-08-31T09:38:47.266-07:00Anon.,
Thanks for commenting! These issues are not...Anon.,<br />Thanks for commenting! These issues are not gender-specific. Guys get hurt by legalism, too. :) I think it's awesome that you and your wife have found freedom. Sounds like God has abundantly blessed you!Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-61106127292965128052010-08-31T07:13:51.070-07:002010-08-31T07:13:51.070-07:00Hello,
Thanks for this post. I am a guy but I rec...Hello,<br /><br />Thanks for this post. I am a guy but I recognize and relate to much of what you say. I too was rebuked for wanting to travel and see the world since desiring to experience God's creation shows just how evil you are.....or something. Anyway, God has given me a wonderful wife who came out of the same mess that I grew up in. We love each other like crazy and love to globe-trot. <br /><br />Someone asked me if I missed all of the craziness. I told them I missed it in the same way that I missed my rude, noisy neighbors after they moved. Whenever I think of them I think. Boy, I am glad they are gone.<br /><br />Much of what you said resonated with me. I remember the first time my wife and I discussed whether or not she should wear pants. We both decided that it was okay. When she first wore some we both almost had a panic attack that someone would see her! She has since gotten over that feeling.<br />Imagine everyone's shock when my gentle, sweet, quiet wife announced to her parents that she was joining the military. It was priceless!<br /><br />Keep up the good writing. Your voice is needed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-44633812819031005482010-08-30T08:52:35.912-07:002010-08-30T08:52:35.912-07:00Excellent post. I really needed to read this.
Mad...Excellent post. I really needed to read this.<br /><br />Made me think of something: You say your mom would say, "Why can't you be more like _____??! I'll bet she never talks to her parents like you're talking to us!!" It reminds me of the classic protest "But so-and-so's mom lets her do X." The mom's reply is, of course, "I'm not so-and-so's mom." Funny how that point is missed when the parts are switched.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046641822669890457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-27921582391966060082010-08-27T12:36:56.598-07:002010-08-27T12:36:56.598-07:00Hi Darcy,
I recently started following your blog,...Hi Darcy,<br /><br />I recently started following your blog, not even sure where I found you! Just wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am a mom to 4 amazing kids. The first two were DRAGGED through the riggers of legalism by my husband and myself.. we were ATI folk. I will be FOREVER grateful for the way God pulled us out of it and didn't leave us to our own devices. <br /><br />Our two oldest turned out to be incredible, well-balance young men who understand grace in a way I never did, in spite of our many errors and have been completely forgiving for what we took them through back in the day. <br /><br />Hearing stories like yours, and theirs, reminds me how Big our loving Father is and how he never leaves us or forsakes us.. even when we tried our dead level best to be Pharisees!!LouAnneLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01358679253776234135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-70331077837008370022010-08-26T14:09:56.250-07:002010-08-26T14:09:56.250-07:00HUGS HUGS HUGS.
The details are different but t...HUGS HUGS HUGS. <br /><br />The details are different but the feelings are so familiar. I'm so glad that you are free now!!!raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14659411240699818388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-54640876593296791332010-08-20T21:35:23.365-07:002010-08-20T21:35:23.365-07:00Do you ever find yourself, during moments of frust...Do you ever find yourself, during moments of frustration, repeating to your children that same mantra you were raised with? I've at times caught myself doing this and I feel so totally inadequate as a parent, certain I'm just going to carry on this horrible legacy. I just want my children to be free of this but it's so hard...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-7172730488074425412010-08-19T10:40:32.740-07:002010-08-19T10:40:32.740-07:00...i just happened to be listening to BarlowGirl&#......i just happened to be listening to BarlowGirl's Beautiful Ending while reading this. Rather fit. :)<br /><br /><br />Wonderful blogpost. Thank you.simplymerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372177541938492195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-81728545187636492142010-08-19T08:49:06.711-07:002010-08-19T08:49:06.711-07:00BJU? *gets the heebie-jeebies* :P
I almost went to...BJU? *gets the heebie-jeebies* :P<br />I almost went to PCC. But we couldn't afford it, thank God. I was spared that anyway. <br /><br />Thanks for stopping by my blog! If you're new, you may not know, but my family is very different today than we were back then. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents now. I feel very blessed because not many of my friends can say that. :( We still have a long way to go but at least we're getting there. :)Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-59545158511734469282010-08-19T07:13:45.729-07:002010-08-19T07:13:45.729-07:00Hi Darcy,
I am a new reader of your blog. I grew...Hi Darcy,<br /><br />I am a new reader of your blog. I grew up in fundamentalism from age 11, but my dad didn't come to church with us, and my mom was new to it as well. We later ended up at BJU, and I spent 6 years there. I have worked through a lot of residual effects over the years, but it's nothing like what you experienced. The name I'm using is not my real one. It's the phonetic alphabet letter S, for my first initial.<br /><br />I just want to say congratulations!! You have broken the cycle, and you have a powerful voice now. Keep blogging, because you are helping others, whether their presence here is known or not. I'm so happy for you that you found a great husband and wonderful freedom!!! Your experiences have given your children a wonderful, insightful mama. I love your blog. : )sierranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-70229672714856675842010-08-18T11:40:37.166-07:002010-08-18T11:40:37.166-07:00Thankyou. I too remember the first time I wore pan...Thankyou. I too remember the first time I wore pants, and being terrified that a male might see me and think I wanted to be assaulted or something. And the day I told my mom that since my sisters were no longer small children, and all of their Christian homeschooled friends wore pants, I was going to wear pants when I visited as well. I have to give her credit for not fighting me on it. Not because she agreed, but because she didn't want to control our adult lives too.Pippihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05598890631695015818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-12380198839534642982010-08-17T22:01:23.723-07:002010-08-17T22:01:23.723-07:00Oh, thank you so much for this post. A lot of thes...Oh, thank you so much for this post. A lot of these issues are similar to things I struggled with [still do], although I am thankful my parents were usually reasonable. Ahh I need to post on my blog about this, there is something about the patriocentric model which never set well with me but you see, it is so insidious, that I always chalked that up to my own sin. There is NO way to fight against something like that. <br />May God continue to bless you, I am so glad you have been able to recover far enough to recognize and accept the hurt you went through.Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14791763524324073873noreply@blogger.com