tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post7361832338918823712..comments2024-02-16T19:07:42.535-08:00Comments on Darcy's Heart-Stirrings: In Which I Weigh In on The "Modesty" DebateDarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-7409391056241447982014-05-09T13:47:31.854-07:002014-05-09T13:47:31.854-07:00I grew up wearing frumpy clothing with what my mom...I grew up wearing frumpy clothing with what my mom deemed modest. She claims that my friends at college pulled me down. In reality, they pulled me up. I now wear shorts and pajama pants, but just for sleeping. I also do not wear frumpy tops anymore. I dress for my figure. I believe that it's not just up to the ladies to dress modestly, but up to the young men to guard their eyes as well.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13129708177533636813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-35795506284883141932013-10-12T11:56:33.875-07:002013-10-12T11:56:33.875-07:00Thank you! I grew up in the "modesty" t...Thank you! I grew up in the "modesty" teaching and only recently have begun questioning a lot of it. (I went to a conservative college and then taught at a Christian school, so I didn't feel comfortable implementing the changes that I felt would be coming.) I was not allowed to wear "tight" skirts, shirts, or jeans. Shirt sleeves had to be below the elbow and collars could be no more than two finger-widths below the collarbone. I was-and still am - afraid of being immodest. The funny thing is, I've asked my husband if some of the newer ("worldy") clothes that I've gotten are immodest. (I wanted to get a "worldly" guys opinion.) You know what he did? He looked at me and said, "What? Your clothes are fine. Wear what you like!"<br />Thank God for a good man!Alicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-75520080203336021732013-07-05T07:40:43.470-07:002013-07-05T07:40:43.470-07:00Also, if you are dressing in certain way so as to...Also, if you are dressing in certain way so as to "not make men stumble", then you ARE dressing for them. There's no way around that. You are just as much dressing for men just as the women who wear clothing to attract men are, though for different reasons. Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-71905675515664917822013-07-05T07:38:53.086-07:002013-07-05T07:38:53.086-07:00No one is shaming anyone here. And no one should s...No one is shaming anyone here. And no one should shame a woman who chooses to dress however she wants and is comfortable with her choices. But when women play "modesty police" to other women, as I outlined in my post, they're going to get some ridicule from others. Perhaps it's uncalled for, but it's the way it is. I would not ridicule your choice of clothing, but if you are going to go around and tell other women their's is not acceptable, you will hear strong language from me.Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-35605477425335839642013-07-04T00:08:30.490-07:002013-07-04T00:08:30.490-07:00Hmmmm...what about the shaming of women who do pre...Hmmmm...what about the shaming of women who do prefer modesty? Accusations that my wardrobe choices are dictated by men's opinions of me. This post is great, but one-sided in light of the current debate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-43582618693682906862013-06-22T13:13:16.151-07:002013-06-22T13:13:16.151-07:00This modesty topic is so culturally specific. Very...This modesty topic is so culturally specific. Very important in some parts of the US, occasionally important in the UK, almost completely irrelevant in large parts of Europe. I enjoyed this post from an American girl who now lives in Germany. http://brokendaughters.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/i-see-nipples-everywhere/BaronessBlackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11429480086121643083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-85255366743024007782013-06-22T07:43:33.571-07:002013-06-22T07:43:33.571-07:00Fantastic post, and this comment as well: "So...Fantastic post, and this comment as well: "So to put it simply, "real modesty" has absolutely nothing to do with how many clothes I'm wearing, and everything to do with what I value and how I view myself....am I humble and loving or am I a pretentious snob?"<br /><br />^Nailed it.<br /><br />We are so afraid to live IN THE GOSPEL. I cannot atone for my sins, let alone anyone else's. My modesty is a gift from the work of Christ, just like my purity or humility or any other fruit of the Spirit that emerges because of God's good grace.<br /><br />And like Paul, who threw up his hands in frustration when people thought his Grace-talk was giving them license to sin ... when it ISN'T .... I pray that all of us will learn to live in the fulness of the love of Christ and the grace of God -- who does the cleansing, the redeeming, and the modesty-fying.lorojorohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13515905963948470323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-44386274099909480772013-06-16T16:50:55.591-07:002013-06-16T16:50:55.591-07:00Nathan,
Real modesty is not drawing attention to ...Nathan,<br /><br />Real modesty is not drawing attention to yourself by how you are dressed. Whether that is by either letting it all hang out or being completely covered from head to toe.<br /> <br />There is more to being modest than wearing dresses/skirts. Being modest is an attitude that reflects Christ. It is an inward beauty that has little to do with looks. Man looks on the outward appearance, Christ looks at the heart. It does not draw attention to oneself by being outwardly different, but is noticed because of the reflection of Christ that shines through behavior and actions. It is a woman who is made in the image of God reflecting that image in how she carries herself and conducts her daily life.<br />Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15081106611030131955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-66465877868770366422013-06-16T08:49:06.998-07:002013-06-16T08:49:06.998-07:00So to put it simply, "real modesty" has ...So to put it simply, "real modesty" has absolutely nothing to do with how many clothes I'm wearing, and everything to do with what I value and how I view myself....am I humble and loving or am I a pretentious snob?Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-40205702647654008882013-06-16T08:47:00.997-07:002013-06-16T08:47:00.997-07:00"Real modesty" has nothing to do with ho..."Real modesty" has nothing to do with how much clothing you are or are not wearing. 1 Tim. 2 was written for a very specific group of people, for a very specific problem that was happening in the church of Ephesus. The wealthy women were in the habit of wearing their finest, most flashy and pretentious clothing to church. They would even braid gold coins in their hair to show off their wealth and position. When Paul said for them to wear "modest apparel" he meant "non-pretentious, humble apparel" not "make sure you cover your body". It had nothing to do whatsoever with "your responsibility toward men" and everything to do with not flashing their wealth and status around. Which was a huge problem in the church of Ephesus and in other churches in the richer cities. When Paul said "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God"...he wasn't saying they needed to cover their nakedness. He was trying to change the way they thought and how they valued wealth and status above everything. Thus the contrasting statement: "not in expensive clothes BUT....in good deeds". Their riches were not what made them great in the Kingdom. It was their actions toward others, their deeds of love, that were more important. To try to take this verse and use it to tell women they need to cover up their bodies is a complete and utter twisting of the scripture. Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-20707814222099292712013-06-15T21:29:29.944-07:002013-06-15T21:29:29.944-07:00Darcy, thanks for sharing how you've dealt wit...Darcy, thanks for sharing how you've dealt with the wrong way to approach modesty. On the more positive side, do you also have an account of what real modesty is? St. Paul talks about it in 1 Timothy 2, just like he tells the young men about self-control in 2 Timothy 2... how do you read it?Nathan Straubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17796193746711650602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-17022630537479535712013-06-14T10:26:58.402-07:002013-06-14T10:26:58.402-07:00Great writing, Darcy! Thank you for sharing both o...Great writing, Darcy! Thank you for sharing both on modesty and the Romeike family. It is rare to see someone trying to write with a balanced view point. My own husband has pointed out to me that he is surrounded by women with standards far below mine, and he'd rather have me in his mind than them. He always supports me in what I feel is right for me, rather than judging others. Having a husband that you can have an ongoing discussion with about things, where both of you value each other and support each other is SO important. (BTW I grew up in Montana)Emily Mulderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14975879298265515000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-71892903638227537652013-06-12T15:33:47.592-07:002013-06-12T15:33:47.592-07:00If you want to raise healthy boys, don't even ...If you want to raise healthy boys, don't even mention it. Why even point out that someone else is dressed in a way you don't approve?Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-12097735977666685002013-06-12T13:53:53.624-07:002013-06-12T13:53:53.624-07:00As always, spot on and accurate. Thanks for postin...As always, spot on and accurate. Thanks for posting this!!<br />Kathy F.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-62804456061304256382013-06-12T04:29:15.492-07:002013-06-12T04:29:15.492-07:00I remember my mom accosting two young women in a p...I remember my mom accosting two young women in a parking lot to yell at them for wearing bikinis. I should point out, this was nowhere near any body of water or recreational facility and they were clearly out to make a statement. Nevertheless, I remember wondering how on earth it was a better example for my brothers for her to accost and draw attention to their attire, rather than ignoring it and blowing it off as rude behavior. Personally, if I was in that position with my two boys, I would just tell them not to stare, and when out of earshot say something like, "Ugh, how rude, going shopping in your undies! Talk about lazy." And just leave it at that with a laugh. God created us with bodies, and he added breasts to women's bodies. If someone has a problem with that, they can take it up with Him.Rose ASLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03519675898483081005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-42301828116892936892013-06-11T15:03:15.705-07:002013-06-11T15:03:15.705-07:00http://dramaticelegance.blogspot.com/2013/06/laid-...http://dramaticelegance.blogspot.com/2013/06/laid-bare-in-which-i-learn-that-courage.html<br /><br />I actually had the courage to blog about my heart after reading this. <3 bless you. Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05927558035256871985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-65264629230498115662013-06-11T11:15:11.409-07:002013-06-11T11:15:11.409-07:00(((hugs))) Reject the shame, sister. You are worth...(((hugs))) Reject the shame, sister. You are worth it.Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-72098778156534416772013-06-11T09:32:00.563-07:002013-06-11T09:32:00.563-07:00GOD BLESS YOU!
Darcy, I am sitting here bawling b...GOD BLESS YOU!<br /><br />Darcy, I am sitting here bawling because I am currently going through some extreme personal backlash because of a choice I made to do a photoshoot for body love awareness. My heart is heavy and aching, and this gave me new life.<br /><br />Bless you times a million. <3Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05927558035256871985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-46317164528556711832013-06-11T00:57:05.216-07:002013-06-11T00:57:05.216-07:00Solidly on target. Thanks. Solidly on target. Thanks. Willhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00087976878435404041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-30203497318179523872013-06-10T14:42:03.837-07:002013-06-10T14:42:03.837-07:00Darcy, this is AMAZING. Thank you SO much for rem...Darcy, this is AMAZING. Thank you SO much for reminding me that this ISN'T my fault, that I don't need to *carry* this, that modesty is so much more something that is about my heart.<br /><br />It's amazing how long it took me to see "for FREEDOM Christ has set you FREE" - and to realize where that grace applied to MY life.<br /><br />thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!Susannahttp://blackwhitegreycolor.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-69426468678275814882013-06-09T20:59:28.400-07:002013-06-09T20:59:28.400-07:00Thank you! I had to share this with my husband and...Thank you! I had to share this with my husband and he agrees that you are right on the money! This is very freeing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15820134090964956931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-83589861382642558892013-06-09T19:35:03.604-07:002013-06-09T19:35:03.604-07:00"...picking up burdens that do not belong to ..."...picking up burdens that do not belong to them..."<br />yes, this is what the fundamentalists are riddled with. Perfect example here with the modesty issue. <br />Thank you friend!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11783347965796920587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-46215716656472601362013-06-09T18:19:29.974-07:002013-06-09T18:19:29.974-07:00Amen!! Once again you have hit the nail on the hea...Amen!! Once again you have hit the nail on the head. Thank you.Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15081106611030131955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-45911430128224737552013-06-09T15:37:45.936-07:002013-06-09T15:37:45.936-07:00You nailed it. Thank you for sharing your heart. T...You nailed it. Thank you for sharing your heart. This is incredible!Veehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11040712678659336204noreply@blogger.com