tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post2790147415239283469..comments2024-02-16T19:07:42.535-08:00Comments on Darcy's Heart-Stirrings: How the Teachings of Emotional Purity and Courtship Damage Healthy RelationshipsDarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-1661086531340924042020-07-23T02:24:31.917-07:002020-07-23T02:24:31.917-07:00I can still remember my pain of marriage when my h...I can still remember my pain of marriage when my husband left me, Dr.Agbazara of AGBAZARA TEMPLE brought back my lover in just 2days, i just want to say thanks to you for spell and we are expecting our first child. If you are having any marital issues, please try and reach AGBAZARA TEMPLE on: <br />( agbazara@gmail.com ) OR WhatsApp +2348104102662bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03361286358896892000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-8937787176703066482020-07-23T02:24:15.009-07:002020-07-23T02:24:15.009-07:00I can still remember my pain of marriage when my h...I can still remember my pain of marriage when my husband left me, Dr.Agbazara of AGBAZARA TEMPLE brought back my lover in just 2days, i just want to say thanks to you for spell and we are expecting our first child. If you are having any marital issues, please try and reach AGBAZARA TEMPLE on: <br />( agbazara@gmail.com ) OR WhatsApp +2348104102662bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03361286358896892000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-16762076408433106282017-06-12T07:03:12.557-07:002017-06-12T07:03:12.557-07:00Courtship makes it difficult to interact with the ...Courtship makes it difficult to interact with the opposite gender at work because you always think they're never good enough.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-84276855072480224142014-12-20T02:09:31.641-08:002014-12-20T02:09:31.641-08:00Re-reading this after a long time...that CS Lewis ...Re-reading this after a long time...that CS Lewis quote reminds me so much of the (wizard)fairytale JK Rowling wrote for her 'Tales of Beedle the Bard' ; <i>The Warlock's Hairy Heart</i> If you've never read it, give it a shot. It's a perfect illustration of the quote....Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08661368453094823307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-20449305962150663392014-03-05T23:37:37.412-08:002014-03-05T23:37:37.412-08:00Oh thank you, Darcy. I was just thinking that. Als...Oh thank you, Darcy. I was just thinking that. Also, Isaac and Jacob married their cousins. Um. Also, if we are going to blindly view the Biblical patriarchs as our models, we could choose favorites among our children (both Isaac and Jacob) and marry our half-sisters (Abraham and Sarah) and have sex with slaves (Abraham and Hagar). Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-63615487493788788682014-02-28T09:20:59.328-08:002014-02-28T09:20:59.328-08:00You may not like the teachings or the way that the...You may not like the teachings or the way that they have been implemented, but, it is sad that you speak of a man such as Josh Harris is this manner. In addition, I'm sure he has nothing to do with the porn shops, anywhere. They were there before he was born, and have probably been replaced by the 'net, today. Speak of others the way you wish to be spoken of. He is a real live person, I can attest. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-60936064394968381042014-02-27T11:54:02.020-08:002014-02-27T11:54:02.020-08:00Lewis, wouldn't you say that the Holy Spirit c...Lewis, wouldn't you say that the Holy Spirit can speak to us through God's Word and through the other believers in our lives?DForsterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17608058253392179715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-43409582913804826702013-11-26T22:41:45.752-08:002013-11-26T22:41:45.752-08:00Purity is not at odds with God's word. Pre-mar...Purity is not at odds with God's word. Pre-marital sex is. Be cautious of how to proceed with courtship/dating? Yes. But be cautious of generalizing one's experiences as well. Others may fully embrace the idea of purity before marriage and courtship, and their decisions and experiences may not reflect your own. I appreciate your perspective, but particularly disagree with you that pride can be assumed of all who believe in courtship (you may not have intended to generalize, but your words "they cause pride" are stated as fact.) <br /><br />I come from a very liberal experience, where I chose whom to date, and I decided which boundaries to set for myself. I can only speak for myself, but I can say, in retrospect, that loving guidance and boundaries agreed on with my parents, would have been MUCH healthier for me than leaving me to call the shots. I regret giving pieces of my heart away (and yes, that does happen for some of us). And I have many other regrets as well, all based on my freedom to explore and decide for myself. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-87293093095364963352013-07-15T12:28:21.150-07:002013-07-15T12:28:21.150-07:00Thank you for writing this! I wrote a post about t...Thank you for writing this! I wrote a post about the whole "giving your heart away" garbage on my own blog. I also read your post about "i used to be you" on modesty. I think we have a lot in common. I'm doing a blog series about my journey away from legalism and I'd love it if you would come by and read some of the posts. I think you can relate to a lot of them! <br /><br />http://beautifulinhistime.com/2013/01/07/the-myth-of-the-construction-paper-heart/Aprille @ beautifulinhistime.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11400423274050149467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-51641991056517374152012-10-31T16:26:00.560-07:002012-10-31T16:26:00.560-07:00Amen, Ron!! Great advice to parents and adult chil...Amen, Ron!! Great advice to parents and adult children alike. I couldn't agree with you more. May God Bless you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-56574442494292643332012-10-23T21:25:35.293-07:002012-10-23T21:25:35.293-07:00I think part of the problem is that we have a gene...I think part of the problem is that we have a generation of kids who suffer from dysfunctional homes and broken families and then we throw in a mix of books which offer a "you-wont-get-hurt-if-you-do-this" formula. When we are in such need of healing from relationship pain, it is easy (especially at an impressionable age) to think that "waiting" (or shall I say, avoidance) is better. <br /><br />But if we are wounded from relationships, wouldn't it also make sense that healing comes from relationships? What if God is big enough to bring restoration through innocent exchanges from men and women he puts in our lives?<br /><br />I was a home schooled teen when I read Harris and a plethora of other pages. I bought it. It brought alot of shame and fear. Now 29 with alot of relationships past, I am over it. Its why I wrote my own book. The title? <br /><br />I Kissed Waiting Goodbye. <br /><br />Darcy, I would love to send you a copy. My email addy is Miss.CassandraAnnSmith@Gmail.comCassandranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-12910199710353943572012-10-23T16:58:02.729-07:002012-10-23T16:58:02.729-07:00I had a relationship based upon this and the damag...I had a relationship based upon this and the damage that was done is deep. I still can't form relationships 2 years out of it all. Josh Harris, the Duggars all of them promote abuse and know it but don't care whatsoever. Blessedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05093789758500887105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-74221543217572623512012-09-30T05:33:41.032-07:002012-09-30T05:33:41.032-07:00A broken and contrite Heart, I will not despise. T...A broken and contrite Heart, I will not despise. The rules and controls of religious movements destroy any sense of imagination. Living under the rules of man made law and calling it good is a crime. The destruction is often not noticed until you escape the prison walls and see what bondage you have actually been living in. Where ever you are in a Christian Church, leave it for 6 months and see how you think after that....You are not "backsliding" you will be living in the freedoms you deserve.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-20136400077297256132012-09-25T16:09:33.275-07:002012-09-25T16:09:33.275-07:00Ron,
I just saw your comments (I just had a baby a...Ron,<br />I just saw your comments (I just had a baby and life is crazy, as I'm sure you know!). Thank you and I appreciate your comments and the spirit in which they were posted. :) It's so nice to hear from someone my own dad's age who doesn't just get on here and yell "you bitter, rebellious children!!!!" lol. Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-74935335165058670872012-09-19T17:38:26.219-07:002012-09-19T17:38:26.219-07:00(Part II)
There are some rules I advocate in &qu...(Part II)<br /><br /><br />There are some rules I advocate in "Courtship" yet ultimately these must be accepted by the free will of my children in order to be of any worth. It is folly for a father to cage young people against their will, and it will fail anyway.<br /><br /><br />I read with sadness here of some young people who have been taught that you cannot hold a discussion with someone of the opposite sex, or that you cannot remain in a room for a few minutes with the same while someone steps away. This seems like legalism to me.<br /><br />I have made mistakes in the courtships of some of my children, yet they have married happily. There are things I will do differently in the future courtships of our remaining single children. I'm just a man working out my salvation in fear and trembling, and learning these things as I go, and as the Holy Spirit gives me light and wisdom.<br /><br />To parents I would say don't look for a rigid formula, but seek the heart of God in all things, but also don't be afraid to step forward and exercise godly counsel and leadership in the lives of your children. Be convinced in your own heart, from your own study of Scripture, and time in prayer, of the the right path. When we stand before the Bema Throne on that Last Day we will be held accountable for what we did and did not do. We own that, and cannot point the finger of blame at any Christian author, no matter how popular or credible they seem to be.<br /><br />To growing or grown children I say, don't be quick to characterize your parents as rigid ideologues conforming to a formula just because they might enjoy a book by an author you don't prefer, or because they use a term like "Courtship" or "Purity." It doesn't necessarily that they have adopted some author's formula just because they use a popular buzzword. Don't reject the involvement of your parents in your selection of a mate, especially if your parents are genuine in seeking your happiness.<br /><br />Thanks for reading,<br /><br />Ron from ColoradoRonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11640154794493204346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-49231864009053577852012-09-19T17:33:43.741-07:002012-09-19T17:33:43.741-07:00Darcy, (Part I)
I'm a...Darcy, (Part I)<br /><br />I'm a 50-something Dad with a family. Allow me a few reflections, not directed at anyone on this thread.<br /><br />It's not an easy thing to be a father in today's world.<br /><br />To where shall a Dad turn for balanced teaching on such things as nurturing a grown (but young) son or daughter through the challenging, important, and often confusing time of choosing a life's partner? I want to be there to guide but not control, protect but not isolate, counsel but not command, correct but not crush. These are all desires and self-cautions I hold.<br /><br />I have read all I can about matters of the heart, romance, marriage, success and failure in the Bible. I have read many Christian authors, some of whom I agree with, some I disagree with. I agree with the many posters here who reject formulae. I too reject any easy formula. As one poster here alluded, formula is the antithesis of faith.<br /><br />There are Biblical Principles which are wise to follow. To follow a principle is not the same as following a formula. <br /><br />Personally I find that when I've adopted Bible Principles it begins to push me away from some traditions of the surrounding culture. "Casual Dating" is one of those social traditions that I find unprofitable for the man or woman of God. That does not automatically put me into the "Courtship" camp of any one Christian author such as Ludy or Harris, although I've read their books and like a lot of what they say. <br /><br />In the same way that many of the posters here are eager to not be defined by a formula, I would encourage the readers to also not be too quick to recoil from teaching which rejects the modern convention of casual dating, or even of committed dating without any parental involvement.<br /><br />In our home I have used the word "Courtship" to describe our practice of parental counsel, guidance, and discussion for our young adults who seek a mate. We could use a different word I suppose. I chose this word over 30 years ago, long before the plethora of modern books were written on "Courtship." So maybe they are borrowing the term from me? LOL<br /><br />I also want to uphold the values of sexual purity and emotional integrity without making formulae or idols of them. BTW these are lifelong values both before and within marriage. The fact that a Christian author writes a book about these things, and makes some errors, or maybe comes from a legalistic standpoint, does not invalidate the concept.Ronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11640154794493204346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-38960174809595537842012-07-10T14:52:05.013-07:002012-07-10T14:52:05.013-07:00They should seek counsel always, not just when com...They should seek counsel always, not just when compelled to do so. After all, when one is in love, it's far too easy to be blind and overlook any red flags.<br />It helps to get advice, wisdom and counsel from pastors, parents, older strong Christians etc... and certainly no harm in asking what other think of the relationship and if there are any worries/concerns/issues that I might be overlooking.<br /><br />An ounce of prevention can save a lot of heartache later on in life...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-51687776571156085042012-06-13T07:49:23.990-07:002012-06-13T07:49:23.990-07:00Uh, Ruth never actually crawled into bed with him....Uh, Ruth never actually crawled into bed with him. what version are you reading?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-79345075203424674792012-05-24T05:58:10.085-07:002012-05-24T05:58:10.085-07:00Part 3 of 3:
How JUST it would be of Christ to hol...Part 3 of 3:<br />How JUST it would be of Christ to hold everything against us that we have done, but he DOESN'T and that should humble all of us! The very comments we're posting here are affecting someone. By God's grace we can choose to build up and to remember God's Word as it says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." Galatians 6:1. Finally, concerning enemies, Jesus said: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matthew 5:45. Also, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12. Battling against each other accomplishes little, but we can encourage each other in God's word and know that Love doesn't ever fail :) I am not saying at all that we pretend something is the right way if it's contrary to God's word. But I do believe that we can share knowledge of a teaching that has caused problems, trust that God is highly capable of changing hearts and still love the people who taught it. A lot of us probably will be able to look back in 5 years and see, "Wow, my understanding has changed so much concerning ______." And we have all given advice or said things that we could look back on and feel ridiculous for.<br /><br />Some roomies and I used to sit and just think about God's incredible ability to grow us within Gospel-centered community and ask, "How would I have handled this current situation differently if it had happened a year ago?" We couldn't talk about that without becoming SO thankful in realizing that God was changing us in good ways. God's grace is at work in all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. I think of the poet John Donne sometimes and am grateful for the work God did in his life. He started out writing poetry as an Atheist who proudly showed it throughout his work, denying God and worshiping sexual sin. Later, as a believer, he wrote wonderful poetry that glorifies God and has encouraged many. We could be bitter against him for his earlier work, or we could be thankful that somebody didn't write him off. How much more should we try to love, encourage, and help to point towards Christ, our brothers and sisters in Christ? God is big enough to heal wounds from imperfect or poor teaching, and help us love and pray for the people that have taught us. Whatever our background, we are still going to feel awkward or frustrated by situations in this world because of the sheer existence of sin and people's desire to be their own gods, full of rules for our twisted “perfection” that help us to (falsely) judge ourselves as better than others. The only one we should be comparing ourselves to is Christ. And we FAIL, absolutely. Thank goodness, yet again, for the provision of Christ as an atoning sacrifice on our behalf. Because of Christ, we are MORE than conquerors and we are equipped to love each other and be about the business of showing Christ to the world and one another :)<br /><br />Well, I'm sleepy... This comment is more jumpy than I intended. If I've offended anyone or misunderstood or taken something posted here out of context, I am sorry and please forgive me and all the other people that have frustrated you in the post, books, or comments! If the Word of God has offended anyone, then amen, that means the two-edged Sword is working and God is the perfect one to answer our prayers and supply us with "grace upon grace" and call us His children. Much love. Peace & God bless!Audranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-79664889437758991362012-05-24T05:45:54.296-07:002012-05-24T05:45:54.296-07:00Part 2 of 3:
God doesn't leave me where I'...Part 2 of 3:<br />God doesn't leave me where I'm at, but is growing and perfecting me in grace. Some days I just think, "When will I stop being such a jerk?!? Can't I just be completely loving all the time?" yet I'm dropping f-bombs while alone in my car as I'm being impatient and disapproving of others' driving, or I'm holding bitterness, maybe complete hatred, against someone instead of extending grace when Christ gave Himself up for me while I was STILL HIS ENEMY and could not deserve anything good!). Can we stop for a second and just say, what a good and LOVING God!! What good motivation to proclaim the merits of Christ instead of my merits that are really just a mess!<br /><br />Concerning ways to be self-controlled or even to love others well, it says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 "...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I never paid much attention to this verse til I was 25, but then I started to take it seriously. At first, it was really tiring to think about my thoughts, but it became easier and more "natural"... A difficult or maybe horribly freaking awful situation would arise and I would think, "How do I WANT to respond right now?" and compare it to "How does God want me to respond?" It's pretty easy to start spotting what is sinful vs. what will result from trusting in God's goodness. Once again, I mess this up pretty often, but I have found it to be such good, Biblical wisdom that has helped me to be less of a jerk in relationships and has literally prevented me from destroying 2 friendships. Thank goodness for the Holy Spirit and the ability to take our thoughts captive and to see just how sinful we are, but how much greater is God's grace, and acknowledge that "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3<br /><br />One thing that has really struck me in all this, is that we are each accountable for our own actions, including pride. Of course, teaching something crappy equates teaching something crappy. We all have an effect on someone, and we all botch things up quite royally, quite often. We can blame our parents, our country, book authors, anyone... but in seeing Christ face to face, we likely won't be saying "It's so and so's fault that I did this." The problem is SIN. We each are born sinners, we each continue to sin, and we have all fallen damnably short of the glory of God. The only reason any of us can see our own sin or that our spiritual eyes become slightly more open (though we still see so dimly), is because of God's good mercy and revealing that to us. Sure, I've been taught a lot of things that aren't good, but Christ tells us to love as He loved, to forgive, to feed His sheep. We can consider a teaching and discern that it is right, wrong, has some truth or no truth... but we cannot hate someone for teaching it and say that we love God: "If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." 1 John 4:20.Audrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02107849885313885648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-15850640670530580302012-05-24T05:42:29.583-07:002012-05-24T05:42:29.583-07:00Part 1 of 3:
Wow... this is a lot! Grab a snack a...Part 1 of 3:<br />Wow... this is a lot! Grab a snack and something to drink if you're planning to undertake this massive comment ;)<br /><br />I've tried to carefully consider this blog post and the various responses over the last week in light of the Gospel since a friend first shared the link on Facebook. I wanted to respond immediately, but knew I was probably not going to be able to do so without sounding like or actually being a jerk to someone or another. So, after some thinking, discussion with Godly women who came from various backgrounds, and remembering the many relationships I've had where a "Godly man pursued a Godly woman, by Godly means" (I will ALWAYS respect those brothers in Christ for protecting me from sexual sin and for not promising me marriage or forever when that wasn't God's will) and also remembering the ones where sadly, I chose to deny God's good boundaries for me (meaning, I sinned and denied clear Biblical commands against sexual sin) and pridefully decided I knew better than God what true love was, just to realize yet again that I should've put my trust in my good Father... And after all the promises I ended up single again. And yes, I do wish I had never even kissed any of those guys, but Romans 8:28 gives us this encouraging reminder (which of course is not a license to sin): "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Thankfully, I am satisfied in my current singleness and know that I am clothed in Christ, redeemed from my sins, and my salvation is sealed in Christ--a seal that cannot be broken! AMEN.<br />Sorry, lots of rambling, but here's the best response I can give, which is not meant to be an argument against anyone, but encouragement for all!!<br /><br />The dichotomy of being in control vs. giving up control. We are to rest and trust in the Lord, acknowledging that it is in Him we live and move and have our being... He is the Creator, Sustainer, Provider. Yet, we are to be self-controlled.<br /><br />Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.<br />Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.<br /><br />Galatians 5:22-23<br />But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.<br />2 Peter 1:5-7<br />For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.<br /><br />Then of course there is the Biblical instruction to guard my own heart, but also to love and serve others and not lead them to sin. No, dating is not laid out in steps in scripture, but we get wonderful words of Life that should influence how we date/court, work, serve, or are a friend to someone... or even how we should respond when we're perceiving ourselves as an enemy to someone (whether a person in close relationship, the author of a book, or someone who comments online).<br /><br />My heart- Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.<br />Someone else's heart- Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.<br />(Ok, seriously.. that one kicks my butt a lot and is so humbling. I fail miserably so often, but am encouraged that my worth isn't in my performance and also that, as it says in Philippians 1:6 "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."Audranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-6607862402835428622012-05-10T13:02:35.216-07:002012-05-10T13:02:35.216-07:00Spiffy,
If you want more stories, there is a Part ...Spiffy,<br />If you want more stories, there is a Part 2 with testimonies from many many people who went through this. http://darcysheartstirrings.blogspot.com/2011/01/emotional-purity-and-courtship-take-2.html<br /><br />Check it out. It only confirms what I've written here.Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-56341314917502272022012-05-10T09:57:48.096-07:002012-05-10T09:57:48.096-07:00oh wow; this is fantastic. i go to a church that v...oh wow; this is fantastic. i go to a church that very much advocates the whole courtship thing, and though i love my church for many other reasons i've been VERY uneasy about those particular teachings for a few months now. now i see why! if my christian friends want to give me flak about the way i handle relationships, i'll try and use your reasoning to help explain myself.<br /><br />also, you didn't mention this, but i really feel the "courtship" system is very degrading to women (oh, I'm male BTW). it seems like... the women just have to sit around, waiting and pining for a guy to take "initiative," and then they go out with him and as long as he doesn't totally suck they just go out for a few months then "DTR," then later get engaged and married and it just seems so formulaic and passionate. and i can't help but wonder what the woman thinks about it, since it seems the entire relationship only exists because the GUY was passionate about her and "pursued" her. like the girl is a commodity for the guy to try and "get." is this sort of how it is, or am i just imagining things?Spiffynesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05271299345947070057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-62706775646256356492012-05-03T10:40:08.344-07:002012-05-03T10:40:08.344-07:00thanks so much! I've heard the lolly pop/stic...thanks so much! I've heard the lolly pop/sticky tape theory and just thought that was the way it was... and through 19 years of marriage, I have always regretted giving away so much of my heart, believing that this has made it impossible to really "stick" anymore, to be truly emotionally close to my husband... Sure we have all our issues to deal with, but this gives me HOPE!!! :) I feel like a light has been turned on for me! And more importantly, I have a lightness and HOPE as I think about my 3 young teenagers and the joy they can have in healthy relationships as I make sure they have some perspective and are not conned into thinking that these messed-up teachings are not the actually the "Bible Truth!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3113535730415912557.post-43721526713378006272012-03-24T16:13:29.026-07:002012-03-24T16:13:29.026-07:00Anon.,
Thanks for your comment! It IS weird. And n...Anon.,<br />Thanks for your comment! It IS weird. And not natural or healthy at all to live that way. <br /><br />I'm sure my thought did seem shocking to many homeschool moms. This article has been reprinted several places is remains my most popular post ever. But I think these mom need to hear from my generation just how much "bad fruit" these teaching produced. I know they sounded good to our parents, but WE are the fruit of those teachings, not them. WE are living with the effects of unnatural relationship drama. WE are working through the hang-ups these teachings caused. Our parent's generation would do well to listen to the voices of those who lived this way. We aren't rebellious teenagers....we're in are 20's, 30', and some 40's, most of us parents ourselves. These problems we've shared seem "shocking" because these aren't the fulfillment of what the courtship movement promised. But we ARE the reality. And I sincerely hope that more parents that are lured by the promises of this movement read more article like mine and consider the evident fruits before trying to conform their children to a method that is harmful and faulty.Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.com